This week has been a bit of a hot mess. My thoughts have been scattered. I’ve started and discarded multiple post ideas. I had several goals to hit in my business that I either missed or had to work harder than expected to hit. Our moving in process is taking much longer than planned. My baby has been fussy and my three year old has been… well, three!
And in the next two weeks, as my youngest little rapidly approaches the half-year mark (despite my efforts to convince him to stay little a little longer!), we have another doctor’s appointment looming. Each time we arrive in the cheerfully appointed office, I get a little clipboard with a sheet that has empty boxes next to each developmental milestone he should be hitting that month.
These always stress me out a little bit. For every benchmark he hit easily (hello head holding, Baby Hoss was doing that at 2 days old!), there’s another that I’m not sure about. Em jabbers but doesn’t yet roll over unassisted. He sits up and reaches for toys, but he hasn’t mastered the complexities of swallowing spooned food. Any empty boxes leave a niggling worry in the back of my protective mama brain. Are we doing enough to encourage his development?
And how on earth do you sum up in a one page worksheet all of the sweetness, perfection and personality encapsulated in this tiny person?
Cheeks for days, y’all!
Each week, we also have a physical therapy appointment. Within weeks of being born, we noticed Em refused to turn his head to the left. After two months of home exercises, our doctor noticed enough residual tightness on the right side of his neck and shoulder to refer us to a therapist. This photo not only captures kissable cheeks and rosebud lips, but also the beautiful and hard won extension of those formerly shortened, tight muscles. But this photo doesn’t represent the hours in therapy, days of careful practice, singing and toy shaking dedicated to convincing an unwilling infant to turn his head.
Internal and external expectations dictate how we assess our performances as spouses, parents, business owners or employees, friends, and followers of Christ. We seek for approval and accountability with mental, developmental checklists. At X point in a given relationship, we assume that we should be hitting Y and Z benchmarks.
But no self-help worksheet, no printable infographic, no comparison to any other person or relationship can accurately measure and represent all the varied chaos and artistry that is you.
And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.
In our drive to strive for perfection, do we resist God’s calling by reciting all the little boxes we haven’t yet checked off?
I am not organized. I am a procrastinator. I am not a linear thinker. I am chronically late. I am not patient. I am easily overwhelmed.
God can’t use me like this!
God doesn’t always call the equipped. But He does equip the called.
You are enough.
Right now. For today. The boxes that you have checked off, the milestones that you have reached, the individual beauty and singular combination of gifts and potential that you bring to the table is what God requires.
He will challenge you and equip you for the future. His Word is the ultimate checklist of development, and it will continually provide us with new boxes, new benchmarks, new goals to crush in our journey of becoming.
You are enough.
Our brokenness and imperfections are not liabilities on God’s profit and loss sheet! They are assets!
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us
2 Corinthians 4:7
That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.
1 Corinthians 2:5
Our testimonies to His saving power and the goodness of His grace are not built on elegant foundations of our own making. My righteousness pales in comparison to His Holiness. And the beauty of mercy shines brightest in contrast to the abject blackness of sin, a beacon of redemptive promise to those still trapped in its darkness.
I stand before you with cracks and holes and broken edges. And through those open places, the glory of the cross can shine through me.
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
Your story has a purpose. The frustrations that cause us to lament our own shortcomings are only part of that story.
You Are Enough.
Just as you are. Because He is more than sufficient to make up the difference.
Let the Author and Finisher of our faith write in His perfection.